old man liver

also known as Bitch'n Mona

a post in which to bitch about Old Man. who I shall credit for some of the damage to my liver. and psyche.

I think I don’t know how to deal with a man who’s not evil. Like, he’s not abusive or selling drugs or alcoholic or severely narcissistic or 15 years old or married or. . . .oh fuck. K, technically, legally, he’s still married. So. there’s that. Otherwise? just an old man that I’m ’bout tired of.

Bloody Idiots! (#RSA all the way!!!)

for thine is the (United) Kingdom, and the Power (of laughter) and the glory (hole) (giggle)

OH! people piss me off! I don’t care who you are or what brand of crazy you subscribe to, you don’t want to be judged by one impression of yourself. You don’t want someone to decide they know all about you from a few minutes of your time. Sure, if you’re in show business I guess you get used to that sort of thing. But, Come On!!

i ought to go to bed

This is some dreck that’s been sitting in my drafts folder since last October. Not really sure why. Maybe just so sober me could proofread and edit for drunk me?

(pics & snarky comments added later.)

"In sleep, you are safe from the revolting mechanics of living and being a prey to outrageous fortune." Taylor Caldwell

 

If it’s night, I ought to go to bed. If it’s daytime, I am in bed. and probably ought to get the fuck up. ain’t it funny?

you know you wanna. me too.

I  bought new mascara which totally looks like a pocket rocket. gives me idears.

ancient chinese wisdom, meaning........bitch

quickies

I’m told that I’m a mean drunk. would like to get a second opinion.

I rather feel like work is a hamster wheel and I’m just trotting along all clueless.

Protected: you do, I do, life does; frustrate me

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Protected: in Your pants!

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Protected: m for manic phase, maybe i’ll get something done

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Crazy Christian Email #1

Yay! A response to one of a gajillion forwardies going around that make me wanna gnaw on lead pipes full of asbestos. I’ve gotten all of them, at least once each from my 3 best friends and twice each from my dad.

Crazy Christian Chain Emails

How is it that a 15 year old child can see what Adults are missing?

WRITTEN
BY A 15 yr. Old SCHOOL KID IN ARIZONA
:

New Pledge of Allegiance (TOTALLY AWESOME) !
Since the Pledge of Allegiance
And The Lord’s Prayer
Are not allowed in most Public schools anymore
Because the word ‘God’ is mentioned….
A kid in Arizona wrote this

NEW School prayer :
Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.
If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.
Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That’s no offense; it’s a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.
For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God’s name is prohibited by the state.
We’re allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks..
They’ve outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the ‘unwed daddy,’ our Senior King.
It’s ‘inappropriate’ to teach right from wrong,
We’re taught that such ‘judgments’ do not belong.
We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.
It’s scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school’s a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!
Amen
If you aren’t ashamed to do this,
Please pass this on.
Jesus said, ‘If you are ashamed of me,
I will be ashamed of you before my Father.’

Not ashamed.

Joseph calls this email “…a complaint about Christians not being allowed to nag other people for their body piercings and other important matters.” Spot on, dude. I’d say it reveals the massive sense of entitlement a lot of Christians have from having been the favored group for so long. They’re spoiled, and like most spoiled people throwing their asses in the air about having to share for once, they can be very childish. Let’s look at this thing, shall we?

WRITTEN
BY A 15 yr. Old SCHOOL KID IN ARIZONA

First off, I’m calling bullshit on this one. If a teenager really wrote this, they either had tons of “help” from an adult or are the lamest teenager ever. The word choice is not that of a young person. At least, not one from this century.

New Pledge of Allegiance (TOTALLY AWESOME) !

Nuh-uh.

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule

No it’s not. Really.

If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.

Now? The Bill of Rights was written over 200 years ago, and mandatory prayer/scripture recitation in public school always been a violation of the establishment clause. It just hasn’t been enforced as such until relatively recently.

And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

No it doesn’t. If your school makes you, then it is. If you want to pray on your own or with a group of friends outside of class time, that’s totally legal and, as long as you’re not disrupting others, they can’t stop you. You know, freedom scene and all that.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That’s no offense; it’s a freedom scene.

Actually, some schools have had dress codes prohibiting hair dyed unnatural colors. I don’t have any stats off-hand to back that up, but if my high school tried to do it in the 90s, there had to have been others doing the same thing. Totally off-topic, but our administration’s reasoning was that hair dyed colors like green and blue was associated with gang activity. Because our rural Kansas town had such a big gang problem. Student Council went to the school board and got the rule changed, so the one person who had been suspended because of the rule (who was an Alternative guy, not in a gang) could come back to school with his hair green.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.

And heaven forbid (pun intended) we should try to be respectful of others at school. I mean, if someone wants to dress up in a Klan outfit and chase around their African-American classmates with a noose, they totally could, right? Freedom scene, no? No? Okay, then. Adolescence is hard enough without being singled out on a daily basis for not believing the same thing as most of the people around you.

We’re allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks..

Again, dress codes. And in what high school are students allowed to just swear any old time? Shit, my high school was pretty lenient (open lunch, no hall passes, off-campus classes and work release that meant there were usually people coming and going in their vehicles and wandering around the school at all times) and we still had that rule. Plus, anyone who would write this is not someone I’d trust to discern what “dress[ing] like freaks” means.

They’ve outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.

Wait. The writer is saying it’s a bad thing that teenagers in high school can’t go around carrying guns on their persons like vigilantes? The Old West wasn’t that much fun, and I’ll bet Laura Ingalls never let her students come into the one-room schoolhouse armed with revolvers. And again, the Bible isn’t banned.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the ‘unwed daddy,’ our Senior King.

Please. Everybody knows the popular kids get abortions.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,

Birth controls? And if these schools are just giving out contraceptives, why do we have pregnant Senior Queens? Use that shit, kids!

Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.

I think the writer has mistaken learning about something for being taught to accept that thing as a religious belief. Totem poles are a legitimate part of any comprehensive (North) American history class, and there are any number of books, plays, and short stories about vampires and witchcraft that could be included in an English course. For that matter, the Bible can be taught about (as long as it’s not being preached) in a literature or history class. Again, just learning about something doesn’t mean it has to become an integral part of one’s belief system. Also, vampires are imaginary.

It’s scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school’s a mess.

Actually, schools seem to be less lenient these days than they used to be.

So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Two things:
1- I thought you said they’d banned guns.
2- If I get shot, what I’d really like is to be taken to a hospital and be operated on and/or sewn up and survive, not for “the Lord my soul to take.” It’s entirely possible to survive being shot; ask 50 Cent.

If you aren’t ashamed to do this,
Please pass this on.

That again.

Jesus said,
‘If you are ashamed of me,
I will be ashamed of you before my Father.’

Yep, that too.

Not
ashamed.

Okay. We get it. Stop.

Okay, how many times have I had to say this, and in how many ways? When you are asked to respect others’ beliefs/practices/hairdos/whatever, that doesn’t mean that you’re being discriminated against. Having to give up your unearned privilege does not mean you’re being picked on; it means you’re playing by the same rules as everyone else for once. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes, blah blah blah. Score, people:

Untrue/unprovable/just plain dodgy statements presented as fact
Seriously, learn the fucking law pertaining to the First Amendment. If you need help, the ACLU will be glad to let you know all about the issue.
Out of the Mouths of Babes
If this was actually written by a fifteen-year-old, I’ll eat my non-existent hat.
Pass This Along- If You Aren’t Ashamed
Over and over.

More to come, because it makes me feel better.